Birthday Gift

So as I type this, as I always do with my kids birthday posts, I sit here here and cry. I can't ever believe how blessed I am (and yes, sometimes insane) being their mommy. I can't believe I'm old enough to be a mommy, much less to 3 kiddos. It seems like just yesterday I had a crush on their daddy and wondered if we would maybe one day end up together. ;)

But here I am, with a four year old son. He sometimes says and does things that seem so...old. So not a baby anymore. I mean, wasn't I just wondering when the heck you were gonna sleep through the night? Or wishing you would finally say "mama" instead of "tractor"? Wasn't I just in labor wishing you would get out already after what was surely the longest day of my life, but also surely one of the most fabulous.

Where have the last four years gone? Down in wonderful history. It's flown by, but at the same time I know you've been a part of my heart for much longer than four years. I was made to be your mama. I was chosen by God to carry you around in my belly, feeling you kick like the maniac you are, give you a name, and tell you what a gift you are. I can't imagine (I know I always say this, but it's so true) my life before Merrick Wilder.

I am not by any means the mother I'd like to be. I screw up...uh, a whole freaking lot. And I want to be a better person because you deserve it. I think God knew how much I would see myself through His eyes, when I look at you. And that's one of the many reasons He picked me to be yours. So I would know how loved I am, so I in turn can tell you how desperately completely insanely loved YOU are. And even though it's your birthday and you think you're the one getting gifts? I know who got the real gift. I love you, Merrick Wilder! Happy 4th birthday!

The first shot is for Paper Heart Camera, second shot is for Macro Monday, 

third is for Monday Rewind.

Swagger Wagon

I am not the type of person to knock the minivan. Make fun if you will, but I have been dying to have one to call my very own ever since I realized that no matter how far up I scoot my seat, my children will STILL kick me while riding in the trusty ol' Caliber. Also, the trunk was the size of a kitchen cabinet. So, when we realized number 3 is due in less than 75 days, we traded ol' trusty in for this:

Yes, go ahead and laugh, all you tough guys out there who think you're too cool for a swagger wagon. You have obviously never been kicked in your back for hours, had no where to put your elbows and your drink at the same time, or tried to unload groceries while simultaneously carrying a 2 year old, tripping over a 3 year old, and also growing a person in your belly. It's not as easy as us mom's make it look.

I mean, this van is the perfect gentlemen...it opens the door for me. Heaven, I tell you. And there are compartments that open up in the floor big enough to put both my children in. (Or silly boys who like to make fun of minivans.) I mean, not that I considered that or anything. The trunk holds the stroller, and all of said groceries, not just one or the other. (Heaven forbid I forget to remove the stroller before when I went grocery shopping in the Caliber...cuz that meant groceries all over the car, on my head, in the kid's laps, etc.)

So go ahead and giggle, roll your eyes and swear you'd never drive one of these. I'm sure there was a time when I said the same thing. But then I realized that people used to laugh at stuff like the world being round, too. And then I had these kids...and since I wouldn't trade them for the world I think this is the perfect way to get where we're going.

Check out more iPhone shots at Life Rearranged, and Imperfections.

The second shot is for Fabulous Friday and Skinned Knees Blog.

Yard Ornament

We live in a townhouse, which technically doesn't have much of a big yard all to itself. The back yard is fenced in, which is awesome, so it does the trick. And we live on an end unit that backs up to another development, so we have "extra" yard that isn't technically ours, but we get to use it and, ya know, not play in the parking lot.

I do miss our big trees, which were really colorful in the fall. But I'm hoping the ones we do have will give me a little somethin' somethin' to keep my camera happy. For right now the leaves here have just started changing, so I hope the leaf pictures won't have worn out their welcome just yet...y'all might have to put up with them for a little bit.

I happened to notice this little guy when I was outside waddling around. I think he's pretty cute. There were lots of "wild life" out yesterday afternoon. It was a gorgeous day and pretty warm for this time of year. I think the birds (especially the ones who like to smack into our living room window because they built a nest in the tree right beside it) thought it was Spring. Sorry guys, I feel your pain. Let's all migrate, k?

I'm not sure what squirrels do during the winter. But I'm sure the kids and I wouldn't mind if they stuck around. They're pretty cute and keep the kids entertained for about .5 seconds...which is longer than a lot of things. ;)

The second shot is for YouCapture.

The first shot is for Show Off and Autumn Photo Challenge, and last is for Texture Thursday.

Family Fotography in the Fall

Yeah that's not how you really spell it, but I was just carried away. Speaking of photography, I had a family session with a great bunch from the church my hubby used to work at. They were great to work with, just hanging out together and enjoying the awesome fall weather we had last weekend. I managed to shoot around this giant belly I am sporting, and they didn't seem to mind my waddling around the entire session.

I usually drag my hubby along on sessions just for an assistant and an extra hand, but he was tied up at work so I flew solo this time. And speaking of solo, I also managed to knock the driver's side mirror off of our car during my travels, and we now have just the passenger side mirror. (This really has nothing to do with the session, except for the fact that I nearly caused 100 accidents going to and from the shoot. You don't realize how much you use those things until they're gone. Thankfully a replacement is on the way!)

This is one of the prettiest times of the year to do sessions (Spring is probably my fav, though), and I'm glad that I was able to do it before I become completely incapable of maneuvering around this child taking up my abdomen. I have two more sessions and a wedding before I completely call it quits until after Baby J's arrival. I must say I am looking forward to the break a bit...if for no other reason than I am dying of exhaustion, y'all. I think I need a nap just because I wrote this post. Or a cookie, that might do.

Thanks, Sinclair family, for letting me (and Baby J) take your good-looking family's pictures! It was fun! :)

The first shot is for Simplicity and Little Somethings, second for Communal Global, and Third for Happiness Project.

Awkward Position

Sunday mornings are my favorite. I love that we go to church Sunday afternoon, so we can sleep in and just chill. We can eat Froot Loops and drink coffee (Yes, the kids drink sips of my coffee. Not sure what is with them, I hated coffee at that age. Billy says it's because I make my coffee so sweet what kid wouldn't want to drink it?) We can sit on the couch and rest. Rest is pretty awesome.

I had a photo shoot yesterday, so am even more glad for that rest today. Sessions are getting harder and harder with Baby J in the way. I thought he would make a handy camera rest, but instead he kind of just makes impossible to get into any position where I might get an interesting angle. I'm sure I looked pretty funny taking that first shot of the kiddos eating their Froot Loop brunch.

At least they don't pay any attention to mommy and her camera. So for now, me and this baby belly are going to go get into a more comfortable position on the couch. And probably not get up for quite awhile. Hope y'all have a great Sunday!

:: Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy - Exodus 20.8 ::

The first shot is for Paper Heart Camera, Second is for Scripture and a Snapshot and Macro Monday,

third is for Monday Rewind

Familiar Faces

Doesn't really matter how much I look at them, how familiar they are...I still can't get quite enough of these faces. It's funny to think that there was a time when I knew them, but didn't quite know what their faces would look like. Then you see them for the first time and you feel so familiar, but yet that little face isn't something you've ever seen before.

We are at that stage with Baby J. Feeling like we know him so well (his constant kicking is my constant companion) but yet having no idea what his face will look like exactly. (We had a little peak on an ultrasound, but it's not quite the same thing, ya know?) I am trying not to be over being pregnant (I could still have 11 weeks of this...calm down woman) and rush things by, but at the same time I cannot wait to have his face become familiar, and be overphotographed just like these other two faces that I can't imagine not seeing every day.

The last shot is for The Paper Mama, Fabulous Friday, and Give Me Your Best Shot.

Man of Many Talents

Spiderman of many talents, that is. He can save a city from crime and mow the backyard all in a day's work. Not to mention scare a sister into behaving. Merrick has many obsessions. He's an obsessive type of kiddo. Sometimes it drives me a bit crazy, the way he gets hung up on things. But at the same time he is amazingly persistent, notices details and doesn't forget a thing. (Looking at the bright side, here)

I've occasionally been given the third degree for deviations from the norm such as taking a different route home from the gym. "Mom, where ARE you going? This is not the way home." But at least ONE of us won't get lost, right? Even if, in my defense, I was just trying to go drop off some bills at a mailbox, not confuse my children.

He loves all things Spiderman right now, and this will be his Halloween costume since nothing else will be tolerated. I'm afraid I might be shot with his web if I didn't comply, as baby sister has been in the past. For a long time he wouldn't even try to "shoot a web" like Spiderman because he couldn't hold his fingers right. Perfectionist much? I have NO idea where he gets that from. Ahem.

I'm not sure what started the Spiderman fetish, but I guess it could be worse. Spongebob, for example, isn't nearly as talented I'm sure. And it would be hard to scare little sisters by just laughing obnoxiously. So makes sense I guess.

Check out more Fall shots at YouCapture.

The first shot is for Show Off, and last is for Texture Thursday.

Bully Barron

No, that's not the baby's name. I'm referring to my daughter. She is turning into quite a bully these days. People always fuss at me when I say that about her, but when you catch sight of your daughter punching little boys in the face what else can you do?

Granted she has a very aggressive older brother who likes to wrestle, so I understand self defense has been an issue. I wouldn't want her being a push over either. I guess honestly I'm proud of the way she sticks up for herself...I just wish she would do it a little less violently?

She can be very girly at times too...refusing to leave the house without ponytails in her hair. She loves to dress up in her frilly dress up skirt and "frolic" around the house. But try to give her a hug and kiss and you risk losing a tooth. (which is what the boy I caught her punching was doing...trying to hug her)

Her father is thrilled with this, and is thinking he'll have less boys to scare away in the future if she keeps this up. I guess from that angle her bullying isn't so bad either. I wont worry about her nearly as much at 16 if she continues to perfect that left hook on would-be kiss stealers.

The first shot is for Simplicity, second for Communal Global, Third for Happiness Project

Veins of Gold

It is in men as in soils where sometimes there is a vein of gold which the owner knows not. 

/ Jonathan Swift

Sometimes, and I know this is the case with anyone who is breathing, I don't always feel like people see me. I don't always feel understood or appreciated simply as I am. Often there are expectations I can't live up to, things I am supposed to do and I don't, things I say no to that people may not understand.

This isn't a pity party. I'm learning that I am seen, by the One who really matters. It's a good thing that others don't always see or understand. Because it forces me to go where there is understanding, where I should be going for that acceptance I crave to begin with. All my flaws, all my failures, and also all my veins of gold are seen. The gifts I've been given that I don't always know how to use the right way, that I may not even know exist. He sees.

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart... Jeremiah 1:5

 

 

The first shot is for Paper Heart Camera, Second is for Scripture and a Snapshot and Macro Monday,

third is for Monday Rewind

Eggshells

I'm no baker. I do try, hard...but I'm so much better at just eating things other people bake. I'm not sure what's so hard about it, but it's kind of like plants...I just can't seem to get it quite right. Maybe it's the fact that I just like things quick and simple, and a lot of times baking seems to require a lot of ingredients and steps. I get bored...fast.

Whenever I do bake *ahem, funfetti from a box, anyone?* the kids love to "help". If they find out I've made a cake without them they get rather perturbed that they weren't involved in the process. Their favorite part? Cracking the eggs. You can imagine, my two hooligans, cracking eggs. Yes, it's as ridiculous as you're imagining. The eggs either don't get cracked, or they are completely obliterated.

They are so cute trying to crack the eggs though that I always let them. I just have to make sure I get the eggshells out of the batter before we stir it up. Stirring happens to be their next favorite thing. They don't really do much stirring...they just kind of stick spoons/whisks into the batter and slop it onto themselves and the counter. But still...it's cute and they think they're helping.

This particular cake they were allowed to take "bites" of the batter. (Mother of the year right here, I'm sure...letting my kids eat raw eggs. Shhh...) I'm afraid they might have a new favorite part of making cakes. But if I'm honest, eating the batter out of the bowl is probably half the reason I even make cakes myself.

The first shot is for Better than Best, Second is for Fabulous Friday, 

and the last shot is for Paper Mama.

Earn Your Tots

Yesterday I had to go and do the dreaded glucose tolerance testing for gestational diabetes. If I'm honest, the drink they give you isn't that bad...I think the bad part is worrying/wondering if I actually have GD.

I have seen how diabetics have to eat. Guys, it makes me hurt. I don't know how they do it. They are some tough people. I know you do what you gotta do, and if I have it I'll suck it up and deal, but ohmuhword I really hope not. After I took my test (Billy was off and stayed home with the hooligans) we went the the Y where I got in my 6 miles, and then we went to Sonic.

I'm currently addicted to Sonic, but it does make me feel slightly better about a cheeseburger, tots, and slushy if I've gotten a good run in. Also I figured I should eat all the crappy food I want today in case tomorrow I get a phone call saying I failed a very important test.

Judging from the scared look on his face when I mentioned what would happen if I fail this test (and go on to fail the 3hr you take if you fail the 1hr) I think Billy is hoping I pass too. ;)

The first shot is for Show Off, and the last shot is for Texture Thursday.
Check out more iPhone shots at Perfect Imperfections.

Reminded

I don't like how sometimes I feel like seasons/holidays are skipped over. I know that stores want to sell things, makes sense, but I walked into Target yesterday and there was Christmas Trees on display. Now I love Christmas, but um, it's October. I haven't even digested (or received) my Halloween candy yet.

Like I said, I know stores need to sell things, and people like to shop ahead of time. I am not one of those people...I put off Christmas shopping because of the fact that I am constantly broke and it's physically impossible to buy presents. And I usually refuse to use my credit card unless I have a baby, and the accompanying medical bills that come with said baby, or someone is dying.

I guess I want to spend a little more time enjoying the season I'm in, as opposed to the one coming. I need to remember this in general, and not just when it comes to holidays. Like for instance, wishing that Baby J was here already instead of enjoying having him so close to me for this short period of time.

Yeah yeah, my back hurts and I can't breathe, sleeping just plain doesn't happen (which is oh-so-sad because I adore sleeping and when I don't sleep I'm like a grizzly) but this time will only be a few weeks of his life. Soon he'll be running around, growing up and away from me. I need to just chill and be thankful for this time. Same with whatever I may be experiencing...like the other two hooligans' new phase of sibling rivalry. I guess it's convenient at a time when I need to be learning this, that the word Thanks is so visible.

The first shot is for Simplicity, the Second is for Communal Global, and third is for Happiness Project.

Family Friendly

Saturday we went to the park with the hooligans, my sisters ("the aunties") and my parents. This kind of thing rarely happens...someone is always gone or we are usually just hanging out at my parents' house when we all get together.

The kids had a great time. It's always nice to have a little break from being their only source of entertainment, and the only referee when they are fighting. I was able to just take some "for fun" shots while everyone was playing. That hasn't happened in awhile.

It was nice to just wander with my camera and kind of get lost in what I was seeing, and all the beginnings of fall around me. That hasn't happened as much recently with all the client work I'd been doing.

Slowing down is something I'm set on this fall. I want to take time for the kids, for Billy and I, for just breathing a little bit. It's not always popular, but I think saying no and protecting sanity is a good idea sometimes. Especially as a third hooligan is about to make life even busier...and there will be a third person in my life who I'm sure will be naturally good at saying "no". ;)

The first shot is for Paper Heart Camera, 

the second is for Scripture and a Snapshot, 

and third is for Monday Rewind.

In the Details

I love Billy's days off. Usually we all sleep late (the kids are pretty good about doing that if we put them in bed a bit later than usual), sit around watching PBS and drinking coffee, and then head off to the gym. The kids get some good play time with their friends, and I get a good run in. (It's not a good day if I don't get my run...heaven help us when BabyB3 finally makes me stop.)

Then a lot of times we head off to Sonic. It's our current food habit. Slushies and tots are in demand over here. It's conveniently located right next to my favorite junk/antique store in our area. We love to go there and browse around for stuff for the house. (Their stuff changes really frequently so there's always something new.) This last time we went we found some stuff for BabyB3's nursery that we've been working on. Who, as you can see, will have the initials J.H.B.

I'm pretty excited about the stuff we got, and the fact that we've finally settled on a name. Billy had settled on it about a month ago, but I was being a commitment phobic even though I love it. I did this with our other two hooligans...a name is such a big decision, I always am a bit scared to say this is it, even when it feels just right. This one feels just right, and I already think of him in my head as...you know, J.

Another little detail about this name is that Billy came up with the first name, and I just contributed the middle name this time. (I picked out the other kiddos' names.) I know some couples fight over names and have to hash out a compromise...we thankfully have never had to do that. We are a good name-picking machine in my opinion. My mom would probably disagree, as she has been known to cringe at the names I pick, but she always gets used to them.

I think we're going to keep the name (other than the initials) under wraps until his birthday. I've never done that before, and am terrible about keeping secrets of this nature. (This is why I could never not find out the gender. The suspense would drive me crazy.) So we'll see if I can actually follow through with that. The little details of the nursery, and naming BabyB3, are falling into place. I can't wait for that last detail of finally seeing his handsome face. :)

The last shot is for The Paper Mama.

His

We have recently started piddling, painting, and Pinteresting for BabyB3's nursery. Yes, I believe Pinteresting is a word. And I'm grouchy and pregnant so don't correct me if I'm wrong. ;) I've never really done that whole nesting, up-to-my-ears in pastel colored ruffly shenanigans that kiddo will just poop on anyway. Tirzah slept in the living room until she was almost 2 for goodness sakes and she's fine. Well, she's normal. Ok, nevermind.

We did decorate a bit with Babies R Us paraphernalia that all matched for Merrick, and at the time we loved it. And not to knock nursery decorating (cuz it's fun to dream and set up baby's room) but most of it (safari print diaper holder???) just went unused. So this time around I'm skipping cliche monkeys and sailboats and going for something a little different. (Why would that surprise anyone?)

We are painting BabyB3's room a metallic silver, with bright blue accents (like dresser drawers, frames for the walls, etc). Silver metallic is redundant, yes, but it's shiny paint so I felt the need to use the word metallic, ok? (Like I said...no arguing.) I saw it in someone's dream bathroom on Pinterest and decided that hey, a nursery is pretty much a bathroom for a person in tiny diapers...why not?

I'm pretty excited about how it looks so far. The walls are almost done and we are going to start painting the dresser and getting some stuff on the very bare walls. I'm also excited i haven't had to lift a finger yet (except the one using the mouse finding cool stuff on Pinterest) since Billy said 'no painting, you're pregnant'. For once I said, 'yes sir'. Can't wait till BabyB3 is taking up residence in his nursery instead of my belly.

The first shot is for Texture Thursday, and the second is for Show Off.