My Birthday Girls

I find it incredibly hard to believe that one year ago today, this adorable bundle of baby was placed in my arms for the first time. I remember thinking, the first time I saw her, that she was one of the prettiest babies I've ever seen. I still think that.

Her labor was pretty short and sweet. I did my typical "am I in labor...I don't even really know?' routine in the middle of the night before she was born. We went to the hospital just to be safe. She was born not long after that with barely even one push. (Knowing her as I do now, it was totally fitting her personality. She has places to be and things to do...don't get in the way or try to slow her down.)

She spent the next few months of her life SCREAMING like a maniac over her acid reflux. Praise Jesus that is just a memory now. But the screaming still carries on. I think she got accustomed to screaming so much during her infant days that she just decided why bother with being quiet? Amaryllis is, in a phrase, pedal to the medal. She screams when she's happy, screams when she's mad...screams all the time. (You can't hear these pictures obviously, but she was screaming in most of the shots, as well.)

She is intense, doesn't like to sit still long enough to snuggle, and will put you in your place...even if you are a 40 pound 3 year old named Jericho. But she is also intensely happy...her squeals of laughter fill the house (and pierce my eardrums) and my heart. It hasnt been easy, mothering this wild baby...but I love the little spitfire that she is. People always say of their daughters that "daddy will need a shotgun to keep the boys away"...I like to think that Amaryllis wont need any help taking care of herself and will be the one telling future boyfriends how it's gonna be.

As intense as she is, our love for her is just as intense. We are so grateful for her, and how full of life she is. There are times when I look at her precious face and imagine, wonder, and weep over the part of her, and the part of our hearts, that we lost back not too long ago. Milestones like this 1st birthday I feel the loss of her twin sister, our Charis Eden, so vividly. Amaryllis is, and always will be, enough all by herself...but that doesn't mean we won't feel the loss. I'm sure we always will.

It's also not every day you decide to be born almost on your big sister's birthday...just for fun. Tirzah wasn't a fan of Amaryllis the first few days of her life. I'm not sure if it's because she tried to steal the birthday show, or if it was just weird for her to have another girl in our family. Tirzah spent the first few days of Amaryllis's life pretending she didn't exist. She wouldn't look at her or acknowledge her at first. As time went on she warmed up to her, though. And now, our other birthday girl, heaps what we call "Tirzah love" on Amaryllis to the point of making Amaryllis throw one of her screaming fits in self defense.

Tirzah is in the same category as Amaryllis when it comes to intensity. (I have NO idea how I ended up with such intense, emotional daughters. Nope. None.)  She feels things in a big way...it's like her feelings are way too big for her little body and they just explode all over the house and any bystanders. (#tearsofshae, anyone?) It's something we are working on, but I do hope that she always has such big feelings. I think life if better when you feel it, and Tirzah definitely has all the feels.

She is one of the most loving people I've ever met. She loves to love people. She loves pretty much everyone but her brothers. And even them sometimes. ;) And as much as she loves, she can also do a pretty good job of putting 40 pound 3 years old in their place as well. She is no pushover, and holds her own in the middle of that brother sandwich. She loves to spend time reading and writing and drawing, but can also be found in the middle of a pile-up wrestling with her brothers. I love the complexity and depth of her personality, and pray that she never stops being who she is.

She is so smart, and misses nothing. (I can sometimes pull the wool over the boys' eyes, but nothing gets past Tirzah.) She is witty and surprises us constantly with the things she says and understands. I can always count on her to keep us all straight. While her birthday isn't until tomorrow...I wanted to take this chance to celebrate both of my girls' and their special days. So close to each other, but yet still their own. I think it worked out just right.

I love watching these two beauties grow, and hate it all at the same time. They are beautiful inside and out, and I cannot get over the blessing I have in being a part of their lives. Watching them from the start is going to make seeing the women they become even more precious. I just hope that I'm able to guide them and instill in them a deep sense of just how much they are worth. They are irreplaceable, and I cannot imagine my life or this world without them. Happy birthdays, precious girls. You make this world so much more colorful, and we love you so much!