The Great 8

Y'all...how is my baby 8 years old today? It seems like just the other day I remember excitedly driving to the hospital ready to meet him. (Little did I know it would be a whole 20 something hours later...but it was well worth the wait and the emergency c-setion.) I thought I would have no trouble transitioning into being a mom...I had 5 younger siblings and knew all about how to handle babies and change diapers. What I didn't know was how much different it is to be a mom than a big sister to 5.

Becoming a mom was the best thing that ever happened to me. I've been stretched in ways I didnt know possible...more exhausted than imaginable...and felt more overwhelming love than I know I ever could have possibly deserved. I'm so grateful for this baby boy who was the first to fill up my heart. I cannot believe he's lived 8 years already...they've flown by way faster than I'd like to admit.

He doesn't look like a little boy anymore. He's starting to have that goofy older kid look and the mind of his own to go with it. He is every day growing into more and more of his own person, and it breaks my heart and makes me so proud all in the same breath. How to learn to let go while still giving him all he needs to face the world is a tall order, but I'm ever so grateful that I was the one chosen to do that. That I was the one chosen to be his mom. I can't imagine being anything else.

Merrick Wilder is so many things. He is fun. He is literally the sweetest boy I know. He cares for others. He never stops climbing and running and jumping and moving. He looks like his daddy. He will be the first to comfort me if I'm upset...rubbing my back and tucking my hair behind my ear. He constantly makes me laugh with the unique way his mind works. He wants to be a good man...he is already a good man. He loves his God and his family. He is irreplaceable and has taught me so much about love.

I always say this, but I mean it so much. I know birthdays are about the person having one, but I can't ever help but feel like I'm the one who is getting the gift on my kids' birthdays. No gift I could wrap up and give to you today, Boogie, would ever compare to the gift I was given when you were born. I am so grateful and humbled to be your mom, and I love you more than I can say. I'm so proud of you, and can't wait to see how you grow this next year! Happy 8th birthday, Merrick Wilder!

Game Face

As a homeschooling mom of 4, sometimes it takes serious effort to spend one on one time with all of the kids. (I know, I'm home with them all day long...but that's not quite the same as spending quality time with them.) The older two get a lot more focused attention relating to school, but a lot of times Jericho in particular gets lost in the shuffle.

He was such a chill baby, that it was even easier to kind of let him do his thing and not have to worry about him. (Amaryllis as we all know, demands attention and doesn't care what you think about it.) As he's gotten a little older, though, I can tell he's needing more good attention by the amount of time he spends looking for negative attention if you know what I mean. (What sibling can I irritate to tears today?) So recently I've been trying to make sure and put genuine effort into just spending time playing with him.

The other day he asked me to play Guess Who? with him. (Superhero edition, of course.) So I wasnt about to say no. We played several rounds...most of which involved him not following any of the rules are even seeming to be aware there are rules to Guess Who?, but I think it was a success. I know one day this little big guy will be asking me for the keys to the car instead of asking me to chat with him every night before bed...so I think spending more time with him (and all the other hooligans as well) is a win/win. Even if I have to lose a few times at a board game.

Fancy Faces

Nothing too elaborate to say over here right now. It's been the typical busy yet, well typical, kind of week so far already. I always feel like the days crawl but the weeks fly by when I look back. It's tricky, that living life business. But I'm always thankful for the fact that the majority of my time is spent with people I really really like.


Here is one example of "people I really like." She's recently noticed she can make people laugh by doing silly things, like that face in the middle picture. The older hooligans give her standing ovations for so much as sneezing...so it it any surprise she finds herself hilarious? ;) She doesn't lack for personality that's for daggone sure, but come to think of it none of the hooligans do.


At least my seemingly long days are filled with these faces. There isn't much I would rather see. Except occasionally the back of my eyelids.

Independently Cheesy

At our house we are attempting to raise independent individuals. That means things like letting them fix their own lunch...and the mess that typically goes with it. Letting them dress themselves...and the interesting wardrobe choices that go with it. (Within reason...I do occasionally put my foot down.) Letting them do their laundry...and the spilled detergent that is now all over the laundry room. You get the picture.

I know that one day it will be worth it, and I will be glad I let them try and do things for themselves. I just have to struggle through all the trauma that this gives my neat-freak soul. And also make sure they eat their vitamins, since sometimes if I don't catch them in time their lunches look something like this:

Here we have what Tirzah calls a cheese sandwich. She has even covered all the bases by making sure the "bread" is also cheese, technically cheez-its. Go big or go home, right?

Introductions

Back in the Spring, our oldest two kiddos had made their own personal decision to become Christ followers. We have talked to them about our faith often, and it's something that is a big part of our  home...but also something that we very much wanted to let them decide on their own without any pushing from us. It's obviously a very personal decision, so I was thrilled when the two of them told me they believed and wanted to take the next step. 

Our church recently had planned to have a baptism service, which was open to whoever wanted to participate. We asked the kiddos if they wanted to do this, and if they understood what it meant, etc. They both said that they did, and were so excited about it. We spent a lot of time talking to the two of them and listening to their thoughts about the whole process. Kids have such an amazing perspective on things...and seeing them walk through this for themselves has been such a heart-renewing experience for me. 

As a mom, there is nothing more you could want for your children than to see them grow to be people who love, people who are devoted and loyal to their friends and family and what they believe, and who see the bigger picture that exists outside of themselves. I'm so proud of these two kids. They have their struggles like we all do, and some days I feel like I'm failing them in so many ways, but hearing their hearts through this process has made me realize more than ever what beautiful souls they have. They love, and they care, and they get it...sometimes way more than I do. They love their Savior and the people around them, and they amaze me more all the time. 

I am so honored to have been able to be a part of this, and to be able to walk beside them as they grow and learn. I know as a mom you always worry if you are doing right by your kids, giving them what they need, teaching them all they need to know, preparing them for the life ahead, loving them completely and knowing them better than anyone. I readily admit that I am not capable of doing this as well as I would like to, but I am so glad to have been able to introduce them to the One who can. 

Like Arrows

It's no secret that Billy and I both love a good tattoo. We both have several, some big some small, and several we are dreaming about/planning, etc. I have always wanted to get a tattoo to represent my kiddos. They are *5* of the most important people in my life...so it's always something I've thought about.

I had thought about various ideas and ways to symbolize them over the years...but nothing really stuck with me or seemed like something I wanted permanently on my body. One day I had been scrolling through instagram and a particular runner I follow was showing off his new tattoo. It was a bunch of arrows that represented his kids, drawing from verses 3-4 in Psalm 127: "Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one's youth." I loved that idea and way of symbolizing my kids, and it was finally an idea that seemed right when I thought of them.

I am not the least bit artistic, so I knew I was going to have to rely on someone else to draw it for me obviously. I really admire the artwork that is done by the same artist who designed Billy's half-sleeve, so when I was finally ready to go for it I scheduled the appointment with him and gave him my idea which I trusted him to visualize/draw his own way. I didn't want it to look like a tattoo I'd already seen, but something unique.

The only guidelines I gave him was that I wanted five arrows to represent each of our babies (whether here with us or in Heaven)...and I wanted it to be as colorful as possible. He didn't disappoint. It isn't anything like the tattoo that I originally saw on instagram, but the idea behind it is the same...which I love. I love wearing this visible representation of what my kids mean to me on my arm. They are truly a reward and my heritage, and one of the greatest blessings I will ever receive. It's also a plus that they love when mommy gets a new tattoo...so they love that this one is all about them. ;)

Tizzy Style

I've posted occasionally on Facebook about how Tirzah likes to pick out her own outfits. She, and all my kids, are very independent when it comes to this type of thing. They like to make their own meals, dress themselves, etc. For a person like me who likes all things neat and orderly, letting them do things has been a major test of my patience. But it's good for them, so I just let them go for it and try to ignore my eyeball twitching. (This frequently happens when I get stressed out or extremely tired. So, all the time basically.)


Tizzy likes to be especially flamboyant when it comes to her wardrobe choices. As much as the mixed patterns make me a little bit crazy, I feel like she definitely dresses to match her colorful personality. She is a strong, independent, spunk, emotional kind of character, and so I feel like her outfit choices wouldn't be anything less. She takes great pride in the mixing and matching (or lack thereof? Haha) and always asks do we like her outfit.


I kind of assume that one day she's going to be a very fashion forward trendsetter type of woman. ;) People will oooh and ahhh over the outfits she throws together and say they'd never have thought of it themselves, and "girl you just look fabulous". I gotta say, if anyone could get away with wearing floral sneakers, a striped dress, a cardigan, and a hat with eyeballs on it...it's Tirzah Shae. See you in a few years, Fashion Week.

I Bruise Easily

Not just a sappy song reference guys...I really do. (I've often wondered if it's some medical condition I should be worried about. But if it is maybe don't tell me. Cuz I worry about medical conditions I DON'T have, must less ones I do have. I take my vitamins and workout and hope for the best. #hypochondriac) But anyway, I've always bruised really easily, as have my mom and several siblings, so we'll just blame it on genetics for now.

Recently Billy and I have started playing flag football with some friends. It's been SO much fun. I loved sports as a kid...I was always that one girl playing with the boys cuz I wanted to be running around outside instead of playing with dolls or kitchens (I still don't like kitchens...go figure.) or coloring or something. Ironically my little girl is the exact opposite...;) I had gotten my "sports" fix as an adult with running and racing and lifting weights, etc. So it has been fun to actually play sports again, as opposed to just cheering like a crazy person at the sidelines of kiddos' games.

I typically come out of a flag football game with a few good bruises. Not necessarily cuz I'm getting hit that hard, although it happens, but just because that's what I do. So recently when I subbed for my sister, who is out of town, at her indoor soccer game (so much fun! definitely want to play officially next season!) I had to wonder which bruises came from where. I think these two pictured are definitely soccer. ;) Indoor soccer is no joke. I have run marathons and half marathons and Tough Mudders and 200 mile relays, etc, and NEVER felt like I wanted to throw up...but there were a few times during the soccer game that I thought it was going to happen. Definitely put me in my place...but like the true masochist that most runners are, I can't wait to play again. Hopefully these bruises heal before I get the next round. ;)

Best Day Ever...Again

So I spent all this free time I have (read: none) writing this big long blog post about how we took the kiddos to the fair last weekend. For some reason it just "poofed" into thin air. So now I'm feeling not quite so chipper as I was the first time I wrote it. I don't even remember what I said the first time around. It's been a long day, y'all. But I DO remember that I said it was fun. And we managed to avoid the torrential rain we've had the last week. So many people assumed it would be raining that there were zero lines! The kids literally rode everything. Four times. It was definitely a blast.

Tirzah literally has no fear when it comes to rides. She rode everything she was tall enough to ride, and a lot of that stuff required a parent to ride with you. Her ride buddy has decided that next year we are taking volunteers on who wants to go with us so they can tag team riding with Tirzah. She is relentless and by the time she was done Billy was a pretty shade of green. He wasnt nearly as excited about fried oreos after all that spinning around.

Merrick is a little more timid on the bigger rides. He did ride a lot of stuff, though, and also spent about 30 minutes on those trampolines where they strap you on with giant rubber bands. He did plenty of flipping and scaring his mother. He was also so good about making sure his brother wasn't scared on any of the rides...he's such a good big brother.

I spent most of the day carrying stuff and waving at hooligans flying by on rides. But since I don't like fair rides that was perfectly fine with me...I grinned the whole time. Plus they get pretty upset if I move from my designated waving spot. If they can't wave to me then suddenly that roller coast is not ok. But I love it...I know one day they wont wave like goofballs and yell "I LOVE YOU!" every single one of the 400 times around the ferris wheel.

We always try to see if we can get a "best day ever" out of the kids. They say it a lot, but when they do we know we've done good. As we were leaving the fair Merrick said those three magic words, and it just made a fun day that much better. It sounds pretty cheesy...but there's nothing like watching your kids have fun. Hearing them say they had the best day ever, again, definitely means I've had one of those days too.