How?

Many of you who know me on social media, or follow this blog, probably know that one of my dearest friends in the world, one of the tight knit group that we all call the "6 best pals", lost her almost 5 year old son, Jackson, this past Friday night. (His 5th birthday would have been this past Tuesday, the day of his funeral.) It completely crushed us all. Our little group of friends have walked through countless hard times together over the years...miscarriages, infertility, jobs lost, moves, struggling marriages, children with special needs, pain, family problems, debt and financial stress...you name it we carry each other through it. But this. This took our breath away and left us feeling broken in a way we can't begin to describe.

We all spent Friday night laying awake in our own homes, but weeping together trying to figure out how...how something like this can happen. And wondering how we would be able to get through it. Hoping we could be what we needed to be for our best friend who had just lost something you hope to never lose...your own child. We were all left breathless, broken at the thought of never seeing this precious baby grow up, shattered knowing the path that his family would have to walk through learning to live without him. But at the same time we all knew we had to get to her...our Rachel, and her family. We needed to be together and support each other as best we could. The other 5 of us all flew or drove (some of us from as far as California) to the town where they live, and spend the last four days together. We were side by side as we helped our friend grieve her oldest child, still such a precious baby.

I say that we helped her, and I'm grateful we were able to do that, but at the same time being with her and her husband Chris, and seeing their fierce faith, helped the rest of us. We were able to be there with her and see for ourselves the peace inside the eye of this storm that God gave to them. They have comfort in knowing that Jackson is free from the medical issues that he struggled with from infancy, that he can run and play freely without being tired, that he knows nothing now but perfect love and joy. And that they know they will see him again one day. This is a heart-wrenching goodbye like no one can describe, but we all were blessed by the way they held onto these truths and didn't let those around them forget them, even though the sadness is too heavy to carry.

As best friends, you always say you will do anything for your girls. I'm honored to be a part of this group of ladies who will, literally, do anything for each other. It's not just something we say, it's who we are. I don't know how I'd get through without them, and know they feel the same way. We made so many memories this week...many we never wanted to make, but many that helped us laugh through the heartbreak. We kept talking about how we were so glad to be together, but wish so much it could have been for any other reason.

We are all so glad to have known Jackson, and been able to be a part of his life. He was an amazing boy, compassionate and kind, full of love and constantly talking about Jesus. Anyone who spent anytime with him only had the most precious memories of a boy who had a sweet spirit. We will miss him as long as we live, and can't wait to see him again. We are also glad to know his mama, and know that the road we all have to walk from here forward won't be easy, especially for her. How will we get through this? We will get through this because of the assurance and faith we have, and because of the knowledge that Jackson is in the arms of Jesus - the Savior that brings us all together, and because of the fact that we never let each other walk through life alone.

We love you, sweet Jackson. And we can't wait to see you again someday!