How?

Many of you who know me on social media, or follow this blog, probably know that one of my dearest friends in the world, one of the tight knit group that we all call the "6 best pals", lost her almost 5 year old son, Jackson, this past Friday night. (His 5th birthday would have been this past Tuesday, the day of his funeral.) It completely crushed us all. Our little group of friends have walked through countless hard times together over the years...miscarriages, infertility, jobs lost, moves, struggling marriages, children with special needs, pain, family problems, debt and financial stress...you name it we carry each other through it. But this. This took our breath away and left us feeling broken in a way we can't begin to describe.

We all spent Friday night laying awake in our own homes, but weeping together trying to figure out how...how something like this can happen. And wondering how we would be able to get through it. Hoping we could be what we needed to be for our best friend who had just lost something you hope to never lose...your own child. We were all left breathless, broken at the thought of never seeing this precious baby grow up, shattered knowing the path that his family would have to walk through learning to live without him. But at the same time we all knew we had to get to her...our Rachel, and her family. We needed to be together and support each other as best we could. The other 5 of us all flew or drove (some of us from as far as California) to the town where they live, and spend the last four days together. We were side by side as we helped our friend grieve her oldest child, still such a precious baby.

I say that we helped her, and I'm grateful we were able to do that, but at the same time being with her and her husband Chris, and seeing their fierce faith, helped the rest of us. We were able to be there with her and see for ourselves the peace inside the eye of this storm that God gave to them. They have comfort in knowing that Jackson is free from the medical issues that he struggled with from infancy, that he can run and play freely without being tired, that he knows nothing now but perfect love and joy. And that they know they will see him again one day. This is a heart-wrenching goodbye like no one can describe, but we all were blessed by the way they held onto these truths and didn't let those around them forget them, even though the sadness is too heavy to carry.

As best friends, you always say you will do anything for your girls. I'm honored to be a part of this group of ladies who will, literally, do anything for each other. It's not just something we say, it's who we are. I don't know how I'd get through without them, and know they feel the same way. We made so many memories this week...many we never wanted to make, but many that helped us laugh through the heartbreak. We kept talking about how we were so glad to be together, but wish so much it could have been for any other reason.

We are all so glad to have known Jackson, and been able to be a part of his life. He was an amazing boy, compassionate and kind, full of love and constantly talking about Jesus. Anyone who spent anytime with him only had the most precious memories of a boy who had a sweet spirit. We will miss him as long as we live, and can't wait to see him again. We are also glad to know his mama, and know that the road we all have to walk from here forward won't be easy, especially for her. How will we get through this? We will get through this because of the assurance and faith we have, and because of the knowledge that Jackson is in the arms of Jesus - the Savior that brings us all together, and because of the fact that we never let each other walk through life alone.

We love you, sweet Jackson. And we can't wait to see you again someday!

Peer Pressure

Amaryllis doesn't miss much. She watches us, and her older siblings, and definitely uses this information to her advantage. She is a smarty (fancy) pants, and the fact that she doesn't talk much -even though I know she can- just further convinces me that she is the boss of this house.

She is very strong-willed, and her own person, but that doesn't mean she doesn't occasionally cave to the pressure to do what all three of her older siblings are doing. The other night, the older three had gotten in huge trouble at dinner, and after being disciplined they were all crying at the table. Amaryllis noticed everyone else crying, and decided she didn't want to be left out. So cue the fake tears. She does love to put on a show.



There are enough real tears in this house. I could do without the fake ones. But she was so invested in the performance that we decided there may be an Oscar in her future. #retirementplan

One of Those

So far this has been a pretty busy week. I always recognize that the blog is the first thing to go when I get really tired or busy. I figured making sure everyone is still alive, and ate at least breakfast, is a smidge more important than updating this ol' thing. But what do I know.

I don't have a lot of time to update on what everyone has been doing. But here are the basics: no major milestones have happened this week. No new teeth lost. No one broke any new bones. Math only made people cry 2 out of the 2 days of school so far. Jericho somehow got poop all over his HANDS instead of in the toilet. (Yes...that happened.) We have gotten to meet up with friends two days in a row. It's freezing outside. No one ever sleeps through the night around here. I caught Amaryllis eating food out of the trash AGAIN today. (She's definitely gotten sneakier with the cast...I didnt even hear her go in the kitchen. So much for that.) Yeah, I think that about covers it.

I'm just going to leave this picture riiiiight here. It kinds of sums up how I feel about not having any time to blog these last couple of weeks. And it sums up how Amaryllis feels whenever we don't give her EVERYTHING she wants. That happens a lot. She has a really rough life for a spoiled little baby. ;)

Bookie

Amaryllis has recently been following in her older sisters footsteps. She cannot get enough books. (It runs in the family, as her mama has always loved to read as well.) If she's ever quiet she's either 1) eating something out of the trash that she isn't supposed to have, or 2) sitting in her room in front of the bookshelf pulling out ALL the books and "reading" them.

She loves to sit and let people read to her as well. But she's very impatient, and typically won't let you actually finish reading the whole page before she turns it to the next one. And she will screech at you if you don't let her turn the page. I've read half of so many books recently. I feel like I'm really missing something...so much unfinished business.

Her older siblings have also started reading to her as well. Some of them like to read more than others, so often if I've read a particular kiddo book until I think I'm gonna lose my mind, I'll pass the torch on to one of the kids. Tirzah loves to read, and will sit and read to her for as long as Amaryllis will sit there. Amaryllis gets along better with Merrick, however, so the length of time Amaryllis will sit with Tirzah is relatively shorter. ;) Girl drama already, ladies? Ain't no body got time for that.

I love watching her get so enthralled by books, and love how she calls them "bookies". Reading has always been something that I loved, and I know it's something that, should she continue to love it, will be a great hobby and teach her so much. Now if we could just get her that excited about playing nicely with other children...

Just Kidding. Here's Your Cast.

So a few days ago I had blogged about how Amaryllis had her little incident, and that the splint she was wearing was due to come off in a couple days. We went to her orthopedist appointment, and they took off the splint. (She was super mad at the doctor at this point and already throwing a fit.) As the doctor was examining her foot and leg, she noticed that she was freaking out when she's press on a certain spot in her foot. She decided it was worth a second x-ray. 

We went back to the x-ray room, where she proceeded to freak out some more. (I mean laying on a table is definitely something worth freaking out about. This much be she doesn't want to take naps or sleep at night either.) I was very glad to get out of there, as I'm sure the x-ray tech was glad to see us go. We waited a few more minutes, and sure enough, the doctor confirmed that there were three broken bones in her left foot. I didn't know this until today, but apparently breaks are easier to see after some healing has begun, especially in babies. 

So we let Amaryllis pick out the color for her cast. (She of course picked the brightest loudest color they had...neon yellow.) It was really quick putting it on, but she screamed the whole time. Not because it hurt, but mostly because she didnt want those people messing with her or to have to sit still for a few minutes. She is a tough cookie...but she will let you know when she has no intentions of putting up with something. This was one of those times. 

Thankfully she only has to be in the cast for 3 weeks, but we can't get it wet. (That fancy schmancy cast you can get wet isn't covered by insurance...but believe me I considered it. But it's not summer so I think we can handle the not getting the cast wet part.) She isn't letting it slow her down even a little bit. She is all over the house, and has already managed to figure out how to kick her siblings with her cast to make her point. (It took her like 2 hours to figure that out. Diabolical.) She is loud as mess, too. Which means she will have a lot more trouble sneaking snacks out of the trash. ;) I'm not too worried about the next few weeks. I'm just thankful it wasn't something more serious, and that fancy pants is a strong-willed, tough little baby.