Repetitive Cuteness

I recently posted about Jericho napping. It was cute. The napping and Jericho. I decided that even though we had recently been over this business of Jericho being cute while napping, it was too cute to waste these pictures.

He's not exactly napping in these shots, but had just woken up. He is the happiest waker-upper e-v-e-r. It's so great. The other two wake up literally kicking and yelling incoherent threats...but he wakes up (even if I wake him in the middle of his nap) and smiles at me like I'm something really special. It's so sweet that sometimes we even fight over who gets to get him out of his bed.

He wasn't the best of sleepers as an infant, it took him a long time to get the hang of not needing to eat at 3 am. But he's definitely making up for it now, taking at least two great naps a day. His afternoon nap is sometimes upwards of 3 hours. It would be really nice if the other two would actually use that time to nap themselves instead of practice their hand-to-hand combat skills. Oh well, I can't have everything.

Just Add Water

I kind of have a love/hate relationship with Pinterest, as I'm sure many do. I kind of go in phases where I am on there a lot, feeling like a mix of Paula Deen, Martha Stewart, and Gillian Michaels -if that is even possible- and then I go for weeks where I don't even look at it because I try to make a cake that turns out like a big blob of mush, or I try a craft with the hooligans and we just end up with WWIII.

I figured, really though, what could possibly go wrong with this one? I mean I had everything I needed to make these colored ice cubes (to play with in the bathtub) and these kids are always dirty anyway. What's to lose?

As you can tell from the expressions on their faces (well Merrick and Tirzah's faces...Jericho is getting his top teeth I think and a third bottom one for sure, and couldn't care less about water and ice cubes and that camera-crazy mommy in his face) it was a success. Green bath water never hurt anyone I'm sure, since usually their bathwater is other, less attractive colors that we won't get into. They played/chased the ice cubes until they melted, and then got a good scrubbing. Win win. This is one Pinterest-inspired idea we will probably do again. Not like the many recipes I've tried (bless Pinterest's heart, it's not you it's me...I cannot cook straight) that somehow never turn out looking like the darn picture.

Dizzy

I only do this until I get dizzy and then I lay down on my back and watch the clouds, she said. It sounds simple but you won't believe how many people forget the second part. / Story People

Seems like the speed at which this summer is passing by (I know it's already technically over for some...but I hold out on admitting it as long as I can) is mind blowing. It's been packed full of goodness, but it's gone too fast.

It feels like a bittersweet parallel to how fast these guys are growing. And just like the summer, I'm holding out on admitting it as long as I can.

Natural Habitat

The beginning of this week Billy's schedule was kind of weird...he ended up with Monday off instead of the usual Wednesday. So we decided to take the kiddos to the zoo. We were, admittedly, a little scared. We had taken them to the aquarium when Tirzah was younger, and it did not go well at all. We had Merrick on a leash, which he used kind of like a bungee cord the entire trip. 'Nough said.

This trip went much better, thankfully. No one fell into any cages or enclosures, no one had any serious tantrums, no one got lost for more than 30 seconds...ok 45 seconds. The kids were thrilled to see all these animals "in person" that they see on so many of their favorite movies. Everyone was there, from Alex and Marty to King Louie and Sir Hiss. Merrick tried to have conversations with the lions and the gorillas...I'm not sure but I think he and the gorilla really understood each other. ;)

Tirzah really liked the snakes. Weird, I know. Aren't people supposed to be scared of snakes? Not Tirzah. She kept waving to them, baby-talking to them, and patting the glass as they slithered around. Maybe with her personality she should be a snake charmer...or a bouncer. I had to have the conversation with her today that she isn't allowed to beat up her older brother. *sigh*

Jericho was a little saint. He rode in the stroller, missing his naps all day long and barely even squeaked. We decided he kind of resembled a panda...he spends a lot of time eating and has a very cuddly shape. I think that based on this trip (and how well everyone behaved) we may be at a phase where we can do more things with the hooligans...like leave the house. ;)

Shadows and Light

“Where there is much light, the shadow is deep.” Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

I occasionally do this. Post about how I'm tired, life is tough, we're broke (that part is true), my kids are exhausting (also true), I wish me and my husband always got along and it wasn't work to actually get along (we love each other, but sometimes would very much like to strangle each other as well), and how I really do love it all deep down. All of these things are true today as I write this. Some of them more so than I would like, some things I won't mention because I don't want to look like a nutcase. (But we all have those things, don't we? The deep down soul aches and struggles that we only share with a few people...but are the ones that bother us the most.)

I think I'm the type of person who's prone to be emotional, and I ride that rollercoaster like I have a season pass and often take my family with me. As I get older I think I get better about recognizing, "ok, you're being emotional...this is time to slap your own face and get it together". But that doesn't mean I don't have those mornings...the ones where you wake with a start, anxious about things happened, things yet to happen, things that might happen...to babies already yelling and wringing things that aren't there out of your seemingly-empty soul. Wake to bills and phone calls and to-do's and dont's and guilt over the didn't and the don't want to or can't. It's like a deep tired ache that I recognize to well.

But then, there in that shadow of feeling sorry for myself and wishing for nothing more than to sit on a beach somewhere, completely alone, without even the whispers of what needs to be done, or what hurts, or who I hurt and who hurts me, what I owe and what I think I'm owed...I realize this is necessary. Who am I to demand to have it easy (even though I do hate, just a little, those people who can afford fancy vacations and days at a spa, or a wardrobe that doesn't involve holes in their good underwear) when I don't have it so hard. This shadow (as sometimes it feels) makes me crave the Light. Makes me remember I'm made for something so much more full, whole, pure, and deep. My soul is tired and achy, but it's from trying to fill it with things that don't fit. Like cramming my foot into a shoe that's too small.

The light is here, I just have to seek Him out. I can sit in my shadow and ache, claiming to be too tired to move, or I can follow His voice to the deep, full, soul-quenching patch of sunlight that He is. This world may not be my home, but He is, and here He is. He is here in the chill of those anxious mornings where I feel the shadow on my skin, where the kids' needs are too heavy to carry, where my war wounds from this life threaten to poison, where the details of life, and life not done as I think it should be, crash on me life a wave. He is always there, waiting to warm my sun-starved skin down to the soul with all that He is, with all that I need.