Fame

Sometimes, ok ok, alot of times, it seems like I am trying really hard to find my "niche". And I'm probably not alone in this either. *yesyouknowwhoyouare :)* I mean it seems like at times I look everywhere to find out who exactly I am and try to perfect that image. Seems like this is a common practice, too. Who hasn't taken one of those facebook quizzes we all love to hate, but love to take, telling you what color is your brain, or what do your eyes say about you, or what Twilight character is your soulmate? :)

I've tried all kinds of things, and who hasn't? No don't get me wrong, I really haven't tried anything off the wall or destructive, and other than diet Dr. Pepper *which is most likely running through my veins in place of blood as we speak* I haven't ever been addicted to anything. I was raised in a homeschool family, and loved it. Church was where my friends were, being a leader in my youth group was who I was for awhile, follow that up with a side of Sunday School teacher and prayer leader at Liberty University, and I was pretty sure I knew who I was.

There are times when I'm still pretty sure. Not that I'm the right kind of sure though. The sure that I am too often, is in myself. And it's pretty easy to get sidetracked around here. There's laundry up to my eyeballs, kids climbing on my head, paperwork and bills to pay, and tis the season for my kitchen floor to be covered in wet sticky leaves. Ugh. Not to mention the constant noise that is bouncing around in my skull -it often sounds like Tirzah who thinks she is perpetually starving to death, or Merrick knocking something he wasn't supposed to be climbing on into the floor.

I so often think I've figured it out. I've found a few things I'm good at and have decided to run with it. Being a mom, a wife, a runner, a photographer...This must be it.
But recently I'm being gently reminded, in some not-always-seemingly-gentle ways, that who I am has nothing in the world to do with what I do, or even what I think I do well. Simply Who I know, and Who loves me. There most likely will always be someone out there who is a better photographer, a better runner, a better blogger, wittier, less of an introvert, trendier, less lazy, etc. But there will also never be another me in God's eyes. There is a uniqueness in me that touches a part of Him in a way no other soul can. To quote The Shack, "He is especially fond of me". -Sidenote...everyone should read that book right now cuz it's wonderful, and I can't put it down, even though the dishes in my sink are about to grow legs and walk out of the house. Are you reading it yet?- He made me, not to fulfill Himself, because He is perfect without me. But He made me, because He wanted to know and love me, and to be loved by me. ME. Wha???
I came across a quote from another blog the other day, and it really reminded me that I don't have to spend all this time trying to find my 15 minutes of fame, perfecting my image, or work on being the big fish in the pond. *I hate fish anyway...so there.*

"I am fully known.
Real fame is a thing tucked deep in God's glory.
Knowing that, believing it, might just change my life."
--The Run-a-muck

I just have to be me...me being loved by God and loving Him back.

No autographs please. ;)

Where's the Beef?

This past week we started Tirzah on baby cereal. Little lady loves to eat, and the Doctor said she is pretty much eating all the formula one baby should be eating, and should move on to something a little more substantial that will scale back the formula-consumption just a bit. Seriously, we know those cheeks or hers aren't fooling anyone. ;) I have people tell me, literally everywhere I go, that they can tell I'm feeding her well. I decide to take it as a compliment. I can whip up a mean bottle-of-formula. ;)

I was thinking *piece of cake*. Merrick loved when we started feeding him cereal. First bite and he was hooked. He even grabbed the spoon and tried to put it in his own mouth, no kidding. Baby food green beans? Not a problem. Baby food beef? Yes, the kind that smells like cat food? He downed jars of that stuff. That kid ate everything I put in his mouth. And a few things I'd rather him not, like shopping cart handles and shoes, but we'll not get into that. :)

I was expecting, naively so, that Tirzah would handle it the same way. Oh, silly me...
She screamed. She gagged. She spit it back out at me. She turned beet red. She screamed some more. I called my mom.

She laughed when I told her my story of the crazy baby who wouldn't eat cereal. What was wrong with this kid? It turns out I think the more appropriate question is what is wrong with Merrick. :) Mom said all of her kids did the gagging/spitting/beet red/more screaming routine too. I just assumed kids liked this stuff. Like I said, silly me. During all this hysteria and flying cereal Merrick was calmly *yes, I did say calmly* playing with his toys on the table. *And yes, he plays on the table occasionally...but I try to pretend I don't see that. ;)* I think he was probably wondering what on earth is wrong with the women in this house, and if he could get some more of that great beef stuff in the jar. *gagging*

Finally we gave up on the cereal for the day...mostly because Tirzah's last ditch avoidance ploy was falling asleep in the middle of her breakfast. I am happy to report, however, that after days of practicing, and sneaking bites into her mouth around her bottle, she has decided that maybe this cereal stuff isn't so bad. I'm not looking forward to how my connoisseur of baby food handles green beans. Pretty sure we'll just skip the beef.

Welcome to My Life

But please, be warned...it doesn't usually look this peaceful. :) I had the very rare treat of getting to read with Merrick, and getting to photograph Merrick -minus constant motion- the other night. And yes, Mom, I know he needs a haircut. But I think the sheepdog look is cute on him. ;)

Nevermind that the book he chose makes lots of noise and lights up...he was actually sitting still and looking at the pages...and letting me take pictures that were not of the back of his head because he is running away from his paparazzi mother.
Definitely one of those times when I wanted to bite his little toes off he was so cute. Not that he's not always cute, of course, and not that I really would bite his toes off. Goodness knows where those things have been today. ;)


This week at You Capture the theme was Your Real Life. Check out the site for more great shots!

Delirious

Friends don't let friends go all day without napping...or this happens. ;)

This was in the car Sunday on the way home from church. Merrick had not napped all day, and was totally exhausted. I was just making a face at him and this is the reaction I got. Really, I'm not that funny. :)

Stuffed Animals Tractors

Most kids sleep with stuffed animals...I think that's pretty normal. Merrick started out with just a few of those. Most of them were gifts from people when I was pregnant with him, or brought to him in the hospital. There was even a special Sad Sam stuffed dog that was mine as a kid. It seems fitting that there are several wild jungle animal beanie babies thrown in from the aunties, as well. :)
However, as his love obsession with Tractors and anything with big wheels has grown, he insists that those be added to the giant mess that is his crib. Sometimes I can barely see the mattress for all the various items that he deems necessary to get a good nights sleep. Lately, he has even wanted to add a book or two, about tractors and trucks, of course, to his wooden-railed pile of stuff.

This is usually what he looks like when I leave for him to take a nap...driving a tractor along the rails, or the wall, that my bed is right on the other side of. *Often I'm rudely awakened by the the sound of his feet kicking the wall, or one of his many bed-ridden vehicles driving right next to my head.

I am glad that, at least, it keeps him quiet. He used to wake up screaming for me to get him out. Now that he has something to keep him busy I have a few minutes before the "MOMMY OUT!!!" starts. :) I have always heard the color green is peaceful...in our case it's John Deere green.