Mother's Day and Messy Hurts

I know a lot of people take issue with "Mother's Day". They say it's too much pressure, on moms and kids and dads, too much focus on being the perfect mom and giving that perfect mom a perfect gift that she can show off all over her perfect Facebook. There is that pressure...I'm not saying it isn't real. As moms there is an unbelievable amount of pressure, not just on Mother's Day, but all the time. We are great at comparing ourselves and finding the comparison sadly lacking on our own parts. We have no trouble seeing the ways that we fall short. And often times we have no trouble seeing the ways those we are mothering fall short.

I think that there is a big emphasis placed on thanking mom on Mother's Day. Making sure you tell everyone you know that, no really...I have the best Mom. EVER. Maybe you do. I hope you do. Maybe you don't. Maybe you and your mom don't get along, maybe your situation is even more heart wrenching and you've lost a mom, lost who you were a mom to, are aching still to say "I am a mom", are a mom and are just empty and tired and (dare I say it) wish you weren't a mom...so many different ways we can be aching. So many different aches to cover up with a smile.

I am not the type that likes pretend. I get itchy in situations where I can't say what I think. I think that Mother's Day, a day celebrating nurturing and mothering, is a good place to say what I think. I think Mother's Day isn't the problem. I think that pretending hurts aren't a normal part of life is. I think pretending we aren't messy is. I think ignoring the messy hurts of those around us is. I've recently battled through, and continue to fight, depression. It's a part of my life that I'm not sure will ever be gone for good. We all have our thorns. If we didn't have them, we would forget we aren't God and that we desperately need Him who we are not. For some, this thorn digs in deep on Mother's Day, twisting around seemingly just for spite. For some, Mother's Day is a balm on that wound. My point in all this rambling is you don't know until you get right in the messy hurt of the person hurting next to you. 

I read somewhere that God knows us so intimately that He knows the exact composition of the sand our individual hearts need to produce a pearl. God knows that left to my own devices I don't think I need Him. It took a recent nasty bout of depression, and a realization that suffering is truly a gift that shows me His face, to help me see this lesson that I will surely forget again. I had no idea what I was missing until He showed me the grace in the thorns. The thorns we all have, but like to pretend we don't.

Mother's Day seems to bring out that thorn in a lot of us. And with good reason. Mothering is something that touches us all, and sometimes in a way that hurts deep. However you feel about this day where we celebrate mothering, know that your feelings are valid. We all have our messy hurts, and we all are capable of nurturing those around us, mothers or not. This day may hurt, or it may heal. But every day where you let your hurts and your happiness bring Him more into focus, and let Him use the thorns and grace you've been given to nurture others, is a day for celebrating.