In the Marrow

In a field of yellow flowers, underneath the sun,
bluest eyes that spark with lightning, boy with shoes undone.
He is young, so full of hope, reveling in tiny dreams,
filling up his arms with flowers, right for giving any queen.

Running to her beaming bright, while cradling his prize.
A flickering of yellow light, within his mother's eyes.
She holds them to her heart, keeping them where they'll be safe,
clasped within her very marrow, dandelions in a vase.

She sees love, where anyone else would see weeds. / Five Iron Frenzy

I want to be that mom. To be that mom to him, and to her. The mom (or wife, friend, sister...) who sees, notices, loves. God has entrusted me with such gifts, and I hope that I bless Him with how I keep them.

First time for everything...

Today, I am off to shoot my first wedding. Eeeeek! (I'm not doing it entirely by myself, actually, but am working with the photog's who shot my sister's wedding back in November). I can't wait, and I'm a bit nervous. That's a good thing, right? I guess we'll find out.

FYI, this picture has nothing to do with shooting a wedding, but while we're talking about firsts, this was my first attempt at a self portrait using a fan. I hate doing self-portraits, but saw a great one on a friend's blog and wanted to try it. (One can always use a new profile pic, right?) I felt extra cheesy, but sometimes you'll do all kinds of things to avoid washing the dishes during nap time. Prayers appreciated, people! Not with the dishes...with the wedding. Well, maybe both.

Check out more self-portraits at The Paper Mama

It happened.

I feel like I've joined some elite club. I belong to an organization that before I wasn't part of. My kid finally colored on my walls. I know it happens, to most moms probably, but at this point we had avoided it.

I was busily burning DVD's for photography clients, with my permanent marker by my side to label them with. I was so busy organizing, feeling like I was accomplishing something, that I didn't even notice when a little hand snatched my marker. And very quietly (They are capable of so much quiet when they are up to no good. Can I get an amen?) colored several walls, the kitchen floor, a couple doors, and his own skin and shirt.


I didn't even notice until he proudly showed me his new "tattoo". And then I happened to notice he had tattooed several other surfaces as well.


I guess I will learn my lesson (to pay attention) one of these days. Hopefully before more redecorating at the hands of a Sharpie.

The Big "Game"

Merrick had his first soccer game Saturday. This was one proud mama, people. He didn't even have to play, he just had to show up in those way-too-big soccer shorts and shin guards and he had me. I tried not to be too obvious about it though. ;)

I think he played a total of 5 minutes of the hour long game. We ate, slept, drank, and dreamed soccer all week, and then when we showed up the jitters apparently got a hold of him (as well as 80% of his team...he was no anomaly) and you'd have thought the soccer ball had teeth and claws. Kids were running screaming off the field. It was still the cutest thing I've ever seen.

I guess you can't expect but so much out of a gaggle of 3 year olds in shin guards up to their armpits (because that's the smallest size you can find). He kicked it about once I think, and then tripped over it, and he was done. He also took one bite of the traditional soccer game orange slice and made the face you see above. Not a fan I suppose? But I'm still convinced I'll see him on ESPN in a few years. ;) Stay tuned, next week I'm hoping we won't be suffering from soccer-field paranoia.

Check out more shots at Perceptive Perspectives, Sweet Shot, and The Happiness Project

(The last shot is my pick for this week)

How it Sings

I recently started following a blog called A Holy Experience. It's written in such a way that every time I read it I cry. In a good way. The way this lady writes...I just get. It hits home, it makes sense, and she says it so beautifully.

Last week she wrote a post on emptiness. On how God uses those empty spaces, those deep soul shaking aches within us to play a song. That the hollows are where the beautiful melody can resonate, and He can be glorified. (Think of a guitar...what would it be without the hollow space?)  When I'm full of myself, there's no room for His song.

It blew my mind, and continues to make me teary every time I read it, because of how true, and how right now needed, it is. This is a lesson I'm learning. But I'm still at the stage where I'm not wanting to let myself be emptied. Still clinging, I'm so not willing, but then I am, but then I'm not. I talk big, but I'm scared to take the first step. Isn't there an easier way, God? Will it hurt? Do I have to let go of the things that won't fill me anyway? Yes.

Don't be fooled. I'm not going through anything that bad, I am so blessed. I'm just so stubborn and I never learn. But maybe I do, just so slowly. But He reminds me that He's not going anywhere, and has all the time in the world to make something beautiful out of me, something He already sees.

Check out this song that Voskamp's blog post included, both of which say all this much better than I could...