Wasn't Expecting That

The other day I had blogged and said how we were going to have a milestone week (hopefully) because Jericho was potty training beginning first thing Monday morning. I didn't realize when I said milestone that Merrick would take me literally and lose his first tooth the next morning. We had been to the dentist the week before, and the dentist had mentioned one of his top teeth was a little bit wiggly, and that it was not going to be long. (She also mentioned it was a little different for it to be a top tooth, since it's typically a bottom tooth. But far be it for one of my kids to do something the normal way, right?)

I had kinda warned my worrisome, inquisitive eldest child to be aware that his tooth might be getting more and more loose, and it would eventually come out so it could make room for a new, bigger tooth. But I don't think either one of us expected it so soon, or to happen with a little help. (He apparently hit himself in the mouth with a curtain rod -that he wasn't supposed to be playing with- and knocked it the rest of the way out.) I heard him howling upstairs and asked what was wrong. He howled through his crocodile tears, "MY TOOTH FELL OUT!"

He was seriously distraught. And teeth give me the willies, so I was kinda scared to even look. As with most things, though, being a mom forces you to suck it up, so I put on my "I'm not grossed out by this at all" face and remained calm. I told him how exciting it was and that he would get a fun surprise now, and eventually a new tooth, out of the deal. Surprises heal lots of wounds, so once he realized losing a tooth is a good thing, and that he didn't have to get a fake tooth (as he was apparently concerned about) all was well.

Well, except for my heart. I mean, I can't really call him a baby anymore when he's losing teeth. I told him that, and in typical Merrick fashion he was concerned and didn't want me to be sad. (He's such a sweetheart.) He reminded me, through that goofy little hole in his smile, that even if he's not a baby he will always give me kisses. I'm gonna hold him to that. It's been put in writing and published on the internet...there's no getting out of it, kiddo.

6 Miles, 6 Months, and a Sistatwin

Anyone who's been keeping up with it knows that typically my and Baby Four like to bust out a 10 miler on Saturdays. (We are hoping to keep this up as long as it feels ok...but also just taking it one run at a time and enjoying each one since you never know what pregnancy might bring. With Jericho I was complication-free and non-achy enough to able to run up until the day before delivery. But every time around has been different so we will see!)

This weekend, though, we had a local 10k that we had signed up for. LOVE this race...it's one of the largest 10k's in the country, and always well put on and loads of fun. This is the first time I have done it pregnant, however. Lots of people do this race in costume, so I'm happy to say I wasn't the only whale (or horse, cow, chicken, sheep, bunny, pirate ship, etc) running the race. ;) Hehe. I was the only person in a pregnant "costume" that I saw, however. And I even passed a circus tent. But did barely get outrun by a horse and a banana...or two. You can always count on seeing a banana at this race, and not the ones they hand out at the finish line.

This year I got to run with my Sistatwin. :) The first year I did this race I ran with another sister. If I keep it up maybe I'll eventually get all of them to participate. Ahem...Anna and Ali, you're up. Abby is always up for a good race, and she did awesome! This was her first 10k, and she didn't stop once except when we got a quick drink of water at about halfway through. Great job, sistatwin! (Sidenote, we were picking up her race bib for her and I had printed off her driver's license. Billy walks in the house and wants to know why I've got a picture of my license sitting on the table. Yep. They are twins.)

Since we were kiddo-free for the weekend, Billy and I had a chance to eat anywhere WE wanted for once. (The kiddos don't like to eat anywhere that they have to wait to get their food unless it's Chuy's. For some reason it's ok to wait at Chuy's. I think because there are copious amounts of chips and lots of coloring to do.) Pizza seemed to hit the spot after a good race, and goodness knows you don't argue with a pregnant girl who's just run 6 miles. 

As we are getting close to the third trimester, (can't believe that! only about 2.5 more weeks!) I'm trying to enjoy all the freedom I can before we are back in the "baby stupor". I mean, not like a girl with 3 kids has freedom per say, but anyone who has ever dealt with a baby knows it's a whole different level of tied down and exhausted. I'm completely looking forward to it and can't wait, but also know it's going to be even more tough than the other times since we have a terrorist on the loose as well. Speaking of terrorist and races and all that...I'm going to attempt to start potty training Jericho tomorrow and will be doing lots of racing to the bathroom. So look for that interesting blog post coming up. ;)

Busy, Beyond Exhuasted...and Bored?

I typically like to keep it funny over here. No one wants to read a blog of gloom, right? I do break out the serious every once in awhile though. Today is one of those days. It's coming from a recent conversation me and Billy had. (We've had this conversation before, but had it again this past monday. Mondays are so hard for some reason. I think it's just the starting over, the whole week ahead with so much I'm supposed to be doing, and so many people I'm supposed to be keeping alive and not filthy, and teaching lots of stuff.) Anyway...Monday was a rough one.

I have often wondered how it is that I can be SO busy, and yet some days, so...bored. (Life with 3 small kids is nothing but busy. I hit the floor running in the morning and it's one thing after another. Breakfast and laundry, and school and cleaning up the mess breakfast made just in time for it to be lunch and more hungry people making more of a mess to clean up, and getting Jericho out of all kinds of trouble, taking people here and there, trying to be a decent member of society and church and family and it always seems like it's my week/day/month somewhere to do something, bring something, take care of something. It's all things that I want to do...but that doesn't mean they aren't exhausting. Some days I think if I pour one more sippy cup of juice, or make one more sandwich, or clean up one more sticky mess I didn't make, or have to take one more trip to the store with 3 people who only want to wreak havoc all over the place so that I can't remember even why I'm at the store, or break up one more fight, or trip over one more toy.

Sidenote: I can hear it now...the "you'll miss this" comments. My soul just wants to curl up and die a little bit even thinking about hearing it. When someone like me finally admits to being tired, this someone who never whines, I loathe whining, my husband can attest to how often he's heard me say *suck it up, buttercup*, the ensuing round of unhelpful "you'll miss this" comments really just serve to tell me that my tired isn't ok. I shouldn't share that. It's not ok to be worn down by the tough job of constantly giving up what I want and need for the wants and needs of 3, 4, really 5, other people who depend on me daily. When anyone reaches out for community, encouragement, prayer, or just a "you're doing good work, and yeah it's ok to be tired", we should take the opportunity to give that encouragement, not further drive in the nail of covering up our struggles. Life is dirty, grungy, brutal, and beautiful...but we can't see all the sides of it when we hide the sandpaper that makes us shine.

I don't want to sound snarky here at all, just honest. I never said I wouldn't miss my children. I know I will. I miss them now just watching them grow. I adore being a mom. I wanted to do it, felt led and called to do it, wouldn't trade it for any other occupation. I feel fulfilled pouring my days into their lives. But please, don't correct me (or anyone else doing what they love) for being exhausted. We don't tell a professional athlete not to feel exhausted after competing in the event of their lives. We won't fuss and wag our fingers at a businessman for needing a vacation, or to unplug once in awhile. We wouldn't tell a teacher not to look forward to summer break. We'd never dream of telling a soldier they don't need to come home and rest after deployment. Why should we fuss at moms for needing rest? This is our job. It's what we do all day every day, and the monotony, even of something you love, can feel like exhausted boredom sometimes. It can rub you raw.

But that predictability, that beautifully boring routing, also serves to remind me of the blessing of being with these precious people everyday. It doesn't lessen how tough it can be, but it reminds me to hold on to the One who knows how my soul craves rest and peace and understanding. He made me to love sunshine, traveling, peace and quiet, and warm beaches...none of which are on my schedule right now. But He knew this...He knows this. My life and all it's gritty glory is in His hands, and He is using the grit to scrape away the ugly stuff. He uses those people that wear me out to love me. He shows me that our beyond-tight budget, which often feels suffocating, shows me with no fluff exactly where He's providing. He shows me that with every sandwich I make, every load of laundry I do, every sticky mess I clean, I'm being made new. Prepared for the day when it will be all warmth and light and rest. It hurts, it's boring, it's stressful...but when I let go of forcing my life to only gleam and sparkle, I can appreciate the times that it does even more, and learn to embrace the beauty that the boredom brings.

The Past is in the...Cat?

I have seen about one (hundred) too many 'Let It Go' covers. I mean, the song is cute (the first 100 times you hear it) but I've seen so many housewives, and their husbands, redoing it that I thought I was going to lose it. Also, you can listen to it in about 300 different languages if you keep watching the DVD after the movie is over. I know because my kids insisted on watching ALL THE LANGUAGES the other day. I also was treated to a special grocery store 'Let It Go' cover in the ice cream aisle by a herd of children that I was not herding for once.
  I think, though, that this is my favorite version of the song I've heard so far. My mom sent me this video Sunday after church, since she had taken the kids home with her for the afternoon. I laughed until I cried. My favorite part would be hard to pinpoint, but one of my particular favorites is when Merrick says, "the past is in the cat!!!". (He's great with song lyrics. Like the time he sang Lorde's song lyrics as "where are these tiger's teeth", instead of "we're on each other's team".) And Tirzah is pretty good at looking sincere. But her past is in the "pack"...so obviously the past isn't where it belongs in either version. Hope it made you laugh as much as it did me. But I'm hoping soon we will all be able to let it go...um, go...for real. ;)

Spring and Growing Things

Don't have a lot to say...we are too busy playing outside. (And keeping an eye on the weather since they are calling for another 'winter storm' early next week.) We are soaking up all the sun we can, and hoping maybe this time it sticks around. I am personally just enjoying every day where I can clean dirt off kiddos at the end of the day, instead of cleaning up toys out of every room in the house.

I had visions of a "first day of Spring" photo shoot. I went outside to see about rounding up the kiddos and really didn't get very far. They were entirely too busy. Some of them playing soccer, some of them scowling at me and not saying "cheese"...one flower child, however, always loves to let me take pictures of what she's found. I ended up being content to just watch them play though...squinting in the warm sunshine, yelling to each other, brushing dirt off hands and growing up and away every second even though I'd love to keep them close and little.

Spring is such a fresh time. It inspires me all over again to keep up my list of 1000 gifts I've been working on through the beginning of this year. It's been tough, through a lot of ups and downs already this year (and my admitted emotional-ness throughout this pregnancy; it's been a tough one for obvious reasons...full of stress and worry, joy and sadness, fear and hope...the whole gamut) to keep going with this list, to keep remembering to be thankful. Some days I'm not. Some days I don't even want to be. But then I see...the angry-sad-scared-tired melts away a little bit and I'm made aware of so many little things, big things, growing things (in my soul, my belly, and my yard) that point me back to His grace. So often it takes a long Winter to help you see whats really growing.