I would never...

One of the things I've learned since having kids is that before you have kids you are the perfect parent. You know it all and have no qualms with telling parents how it should be done. I always snicker when my sibs say things like "Oh I'll never let my kids do that." Oh man...I cannot wait till they have kids. I said plenty of "I'll never's". And now? I am eating my words. Daily.

A few examples of "I Would Nevers" that I am currently eating:

1. They will not have gum, sugary snacks, or soda before they are 20. (Merrick eats 400 popsicles a day, as a potty training tactic, and Tirzah cannot live if she sees a snack and people do not share...sugary ones included. Merrick also eats gum because my mom gives it to him. My Dad? He just feeds them both soda when I'm not looking, or when I'm looking...he's not picky.)

2. My kids will never misbehave in public. Really...did I think I could control how they would act in public? They smell public and start acting like they were raised by wolves. Anyone with kids knows that they just know you will be arrested if you do what you would like to do to them when they act as if they've never heard of civilization.

3. I will never cut the crust off my kids' sandwiches. Yes...I remember judging those moms feeding their kids crust-less sammies, thinking to myself, "Woman show those children who is boss". I remember hating the crust as a kid. And now it's my favorite part. I figure they will get over it. If not? I get to eat the crust and I like it. So there, kids.

4. My kids will never wear ridiculous attire in public. I think I stuck to my guns on this one a little longer than the others. Only recently have I relented and decided my sanity was more important than Merrick wearing snow boots in the middle of August. I will eventually get over the trauma from the stares and giggles we keep getting when we go out in public wearing those very loud boots.
I will have my revenge, though, when I show his first girlfriend how cute he was running around the house in nothing but superman undies and snow boots...in the middle of August. ;)